Let’s be honest, there are many stigmas that go around the role of “stepmom.” From the evil stepmother in Cinderella, to the evil Queen in Snow White.
We can’t seem to escape the assumptions that are made about us, and it drives me crazy! I was doing some research on different roles and what people think about stepmoms that we can debunk once and for all, and here they are.
We knew what we were signing up for
Honestly, you really have no idea what you are signing up for. I myself grew up in a blended family and I truly had no idea what I was “signing” up for. I also hate that it is called “signing up,” it is parenting, not some sports team. Parenting is hard whether you are biological, stepparent, adopted, etc.
We want to replace the mom
We want to be the stepmom, not the mom! The bond that children have with their mom is truly unbreakable, it is not our bond to have. Mom, our goal is to stand alongside you not replace you. We want to form our own bonds not take what is yours. I love co parenting, we all get along and it makes it so much easier for everyone involved.
We only care about our stepkids during our time with them
Stepparents are still FULL-TIME PARENTS. Our love for our stepchildren isn’t limited to the hours they are at our homes. Being a stepmom does not mean we turn on and off our love for them when they come and go every week.
That honestly breaks my heart when people think that, I love my stepchildren no matter what, they mean the world to me just as much as my biological two do! I don’t get every update or daily phone calls but I do miss them when they are not with us just like I would with my other two.
We only care about our partners
This is where I go back to all those movies that make stepmoms look like evil people. Okay, yes we do love our partners and care about them a lot. We fell in love with them, but we also fell for their children. Being a stepmom does not mean you are selfish, Stepfamilies are a package deal and we accepted the whole thing! Even those stepmoms who have a rough relationship with their stepchildren have love for them and want what is best for them because of the love they have for their partner.
If you are a stepmom or know someone who is, I would love to hear what other ones you have heard about in the comments.