baby girl, Baby things, husbands, kids, second baby, stepmom, Uncategorized

Ways to help your firstborn get adjusted with the new baby

I have really thought about making this post for awhile now and it has taken some time to get the list of things just right for all of you!

If you really think about it, you have been telling your oldest that they will have this wonderful little brother/sister to play with, and how much fun and amazing this will be. Now that the baby is here, your oldest is most likely thinking, “How am I supposed to play and have fun with them?”

He then tries to “play” with the baby the only way he knows how. He tries to wrestle and he gets yelled at because he can hurt the baby, he plays peak a boo and gets yelled at for putting the blanket on the babies head, he gives the baby a big hug and then you tell him not to because the baby is too small for the big hugs and he has to be a lot more careful.

Now your oldest is confused at the fact you said he was going to have so much fun with his new sibling and it will be the best thing ever, but keeps getting yelled at for it.

Here is my list of things I thought could help out other families that are about to or are thinking about adding another baby to the family.

  1. Watch what you say

Don’t blame everything that you can’t do on the baby being here. “Be quiet, don’t wake up the baby.” We can’t go play outside because the baby needs to take a nap.” Saying things like this will most likely make your oldest not want the baby around anymore. Maybe try alternative words like, “We can go after the baby takes a nap.” “I can help you in just a few minutes.”

2. Give extra love

Tell them you love them a little extra than usual, give more hugs, find time to read a book or even play a game together.

3. Let your oldest be your helper

Teach your oldest how to be helpful with the baby. Let the older sibling use the camera to take pictures, or help put the babies socks on, he can even help with spoon feeding the baby when it comes that time.

4. Give praise

Whenever you see the oldest sibling helping or doing nice touches with the baby, make a positive comment. Try to make a big fuss about it and how important big brother/sister is and tell them just how proud you are of them.

5. Teach by showing them

Children will learn and do what they see. Your oldest will be always watching you and how you are handling the baby. Your child will learn everything they need to know just from you and watching what you do.

6. Quick reaction times

Anytime you see your oldest being too rough with the baby, act quick. Firmly let them know that hitting or whatever they were doing is not a nice thing to do.

7. Teach soft touches

Teach the older sibling how to give the baby soft touches. Try showing him how to give the baby a gentle back rub and let him know that he is helping to calm down the baby.

8. Hover over them

Whenever you have both of them together, hover close by. If you see your oldest about to get rough with the baby, you can quickly pick the baby up and distract the older sibling by singing, dancing, doing a craft, activity, etc. By doing this you are protecting the baby and also staying away from constantly saying no.

9. TEACH

I saved this one for last because it is in my opinion the most important thing you can do. Your main goal is to make sure the baby doesn’t get hurt, but your second is to teach your oldest how to be gentle and interact with the baby in nice ways. You can sit down and talk to him, show him by demonstrating what to do, and encourage great behavior and nice touches.

These are just a few things I have thought about and I am sure there are way more out there. I would love to hear some of your ideas, especially since I have a five year old and ten month old so we are constantly learning.

Baby things, business, kids, Uncategorized

Balancing work and family

Being a full-time working mother can lead to feelings of guilt and stress from divided attention between work and family. I am extremely thankful that I am able to take my children with me to work but I still have to be able to share attention between work and family. The key is to focus on a plan, get organized, and find the right balance for you.

Make your mornings easier

Avoid starting your day off on a frazzled note by getting organized the night before. Pack the kids’ lunches, lay out everyone’s clothes, and make sure everyone is showered. I also will make sure I figure out what I want to do for breakfast, make sure you repack the diaper bag, backpacks, your purse and make sure you put them out near the door so all you have to do is grab them and go. Divide up the schedule between you and your significant other, determining which parent buys groceries, gets the kids dressed, and who cooks the meals. I also make sure I get up early enough to drink my coffee and exercise. Making sure you have everything finished the night before will allow you to spend a few more minutes eating breakfast and spending time with the kids without feeling rushed out of the house.

Create a family calendar

Make sure you figure out your families priorities. A calendar can include dates when bills are due, a list of school and family events, chore chart, extracurricular activities, birthdays, and much more. My husband and I have a shared calendar on our phones so he knows when i make appointments. We also have a whiteboard calendar hung up in our home where I write important things including birthdays, bills, school activities, and appointments. Make sure you set aside a couple minutes each Sunday to prepare and review for the upcoming week’s schedule.

Stay connected during the day

Make sure you stay connected even when you’re not together. If you are going to miss or be late to a child’s event, give them something special that morning, like a good-luck gift or a special note. Also look into filming options for the event so that you can watch it later. During your breaks at work. make sure to call and talk to them. Hearing their voice can help you get through a rough day, and your child will be comforted knowing you are near.

Create special family activities

Making time for your kids is very crucial during the week and the weekend. If you are pressed for time, have a family breakfast or family night with games and a movie. Have family outings, and when you do go to the outings avoid talking about work or checking your phone. Focus on your kids’ interests such as hobbies, friends, school. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what you do just as long as you do it as a family.

Spend time with your partner

Do not forget to nurture your relationshio with your partner. Often, if you are busy with work and home, your partner is the first to get neglected. Fostering this relationship will bring back some excitment to the relationship. For some couples, going out on a monthly date night can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean you can’t focus on each other. You can always have an indoor date night by cooking a meal together or even sitting together with a glass of wine and talking, not about kids or work.

Have “me” time

If you are managing your time wisely, you can fit in valuable “me” time. Having a refreshing break will help you recharge while taking care of your needs. You cannot be an efffective parent or spouse if you are always cranky, so make sure you take time to care for yourself and feel relaxed. Remember to eat well and get enough rest, the most simple things are the easiest to neglect.

Let go of the guilt

Instead of dwelling on how you can’t be with your kids, think about how your role at work is benefitting your family. Maybe you are able to afford a great school, extracurricular activities, the best daycare, or start a college fund. Accepting that there will be good and bad days, you are not alone and you should discuss your feelings with your partner or support groups.